Getting a Job in Wildlife Conservation

I gave a lecture on careers advice to my old Academic Institute to PhD Students this week. At the lecture I was presented with an article that I wrote over 20 years ago on finding employment after my Masters course there (see below):

Video of Lecture:



obviously the 'in-joke' will be lost on most

My Job Hunting Statistics 6 months after leaving DICE in 1994 ( UK in Recession a bit like today)

Speculative applications                                214
Job applications                                             357
Job interviews                                                5
PhD applications                                           67
PhD interviews                                               8
Jobs or PhDs offered                                      0

GETTING AHEAD IN CONSERVATION

(Or Working for Free: The Perils of Being a Volunteer)

By Peter Smith

Since leaving the DICE family nest I've tried in vain to get that ·"job in international conservation" or start my meteoric rise to become the next Charles Darwin. So I decided to offer my services free of charge while supported by our much burdened tax payers. Firstly, I did some work for the Northumbrian Centre for Ecology, but identifying leaf hoppers is not to my taste. As I'm interested in conservation genetics, these silly little protein machines which surround the genome hold little interest for me. 

But there is another side to conservation which is probably the most important and that's raising money and campaigning, which I am interested in. So I sent my C.V. to every conservation organisation in the country. Along with a number of dubious offers of voluntary work filling envelopes or sitting around in a field banging fence poles into the ground, I received an offer from Scottish Wildlife Trust (SWT) to compile the "Head On Collision (Scotland)" report. Guess what! I had to be interviewed for this. So eventually, off to Edinburgh I went... Talk about being dropped in at the deep end, Christ I thought . I was back at DICE trying to organise my dissertation!!! Not only was I not paid but I had to do all the fund raising myself to pay for publishing, travel, and administration costs. But this was nothing compared to the horror that was awaiting me at the scenic and beautiful headquarters of SWT. Yes folks, NO DESK!

Can you imagine the pain and humiliation of working in an office of high flying conservation professionals with the indignity of not having your own desk. Thankfully all the boxing training I did at Canterbury was not in vain for now I descended into a pit of neo-social darwinistic experimentation and fought tooth and claw with my fellow volunteers to secure my desk space. I was of course triumphant and after many battles the best desk and computer were mine. I have the most efficient Nth dimensional hyper volume, I am the Alpha male, Silverback Smith rides again, and nobody can say "Nuaulu" to me and get away with it! Now I'm working on getting my boss' job and he knows it! Distant glances across the computer strewn office, the worried looks on our secretaries' faces, a still calm atmosphere punctuated only by the tapety-tap of keyboards, all show the underlining tension, a new dominance battle is about to commence, and I'm not the one with beads of sweat appearing on my forehead, In fact, I'm sure we're being observed by a number of behavioural anthropologists and a BBC wildlife camera team, is that the distant voice of Sir David I hear ...

"Here, situated in the most exclusive suburbs of Scotland's capital, nestling in its palatial grounds, lies Cramond House, headquarters of the Scottish Wildlife Trust. In this most idyllic of offices there is a titanic struggle, leviathans of the most competitive of all professions are locked in mortal combat. We see before us a system analogous to a troupe of baboons on the high African plains. There is the dominant male, surveying his territory (tall, semi-bearded figure, feverishly typing, looks around office). 

A vicious looking challenger whom we have named Peeta circles the troop leader's position (large bear-like Geordie looks menacingly at said bearded conservation professional), enviously watching. The fixed stare of this young usurper scrutinises his adversary, the gaze only broken by quick glances at the copy of Machiavelli he holds close to his chest. The pretender, awaiting his opportunity to break into a torrent of mindless violence and destruction, usurping the old order and entering a new age under the iron fist of his rule, his domination. .. " 

As the months draw on, and I am into my second major temperate forest's worth of rejection letters, there has been a new development, an interview in the next office for a job! Can it be, yours truly getting an actual paid job. Can the alpha male of the volunteers make it to the next stage and enter the domain of the conservation professional? The saga continues ... 

Well, my fellow DICE alumni, let me take you back to when we all first met. Young and naive at that little reception, and old Uncle Swingland standing on a chair giving us his little speech about all DICE students getting jobs. Of course he was right, but he neglected one little bit off that sentence: most of us won't get paid, and the ones who do get paid will be saying "is that extra mozzarella sir!"

As yet another year of competitors - whoops I mean fellow DICE graduates - begin to make themselves felt on the Job Market, let us take succour in the knowledge that every tuppence ha'penny academic establishment is churning out thousands of suckers - I mean Conservation MSc graduates. 

But as biologists we know the importance of natural selection, so in this vein may I suggest what the DICE Alumni Association should be about: 'Jobs for the boys', or as they call it now 'effective networking'. The sad truth of course is that I'm loving it here at SWT, and get along with everybody in the office. So DICE has given me a number of opportunities, and I hope the rest of the DICE alumni are enjoying their career advancement as much as I am. Send me a xmas card and happy job hunting, we will all get there in the end.

Scottish Wildlife Trust, Cramond House, Kirk Cramond,

Cramond Glebe Road, Edinburgh, Scotland, EH4 6NS.

"Everyone who does this course gets a job in

international conservation"

Prof. Ian R Swingland, October 1993,

standing on a chair at the DICE M.Sc.

Conservation Biology welcoming party.

"The young chicks may be eaten by flying predators

such as rabbits"

Dr. Massimo F-andolfi, October 1993, on the

ecology of the ground-nesting Montague's

Harrier (either he meant 'raptors' or they have

some pretty ferocious rabbits in Italy!).

"Mating usually occurs after the cow shit"

Dr. Massimo Pandolfi, October 1993, on the

breeding biology of the Montague's Harrier

(we think he meant 'courtship'?).

"Hunter-gatherers live by hunting and gathering"

Dr. Roy Ellen, February 1994, Lecture 3 in the

Human Ecology course.

"Nuaulu"

Dr. Roy Ellen, February 1994, throughout the

Human Ecology course.

"If you are small there is more of you"

Melissa McDonald (M. Sc. student 94/95)

explaining biodiversity indices.